Clear images
by pamy
Summary: Jacob Black has a clear image of the first time he saw Bella Swan. he also has one of the last time he saw her. New Moon. AU ending. Please review


**Okay for all of you that hadn't noticed yet i simply love Jake/Bella. I want them to have a happy ending. It's why i love fanfiction so much. Hope you like this. Please review.**

**Don't own Twilight. Nor the pack. **

* * *

He has a clear image.

Jake has a clear image of the first time he saw Bella. He's sure he probably saw her before that. He knows he saw her after. But he'll never forget that first moment. They were so young. Sometimes he wonders if that moment really existed. If it ever actually happened.

Maybe he dreamed it. Maybe he imagined it.

It doesn't matter. He'll remember it forever. It was summer and they were children. It was her first day here. And she got out of the car –_ in her pretty dress and her hair in pig tales – _and she saw him and she smiled. She ran to him. And sure she fell down, but she ran to him. She was so happy to see him. They had been friends then.

He remembers the first time he saw her. He'll never forget that.

* * *

There are distant memories.

Distant sounds of laughter. The memory of mud pies and fishing tools and long summer nights. Memories of rain and sun. He remembers the ocean and the beach. He wishes he could forget sometimes. He remembers the mud pies that led to a mud fight. Which finally ended when he had thrown a mud ball into Charlie's face. Till this day he hasn't forgotten.

Distant memories of long forgotten moments.

He's sure she doesn't remember. She's forgotten. He whishes he could do that to. Sometimes he whishes he'd never gone to the beach that day. If he'd never seen her. If he'd never known. But it's to late now. He's fallen in love and it's forever. He'll never see anything but her. Her and laughter and mud pies and movie theaters.

Distant memories. Memories and feelings he can't let go.

* * *

He promised her.

Before he knew the stories were real. Before he knew he could hurt her. He promised her. He promised he would never hurt her like he had. He promised she could count on him. That he would always be there. That he'd never ever hurt her. And she had believed him. She had rested her head against his shoulder and she had believed him.

He promised her. He promised her he wouldn't hurt her.

After he phases he tries to push her away. He doesn't answer her calls. He doesn't call back. He figures that eventually she'll let go. She doesn't. She's persistent and he wants to tell her. But he sees the worry in Sam's eyes and he never does. As he thinks of Emily's scarred face he knows the danger. So when she shows up and stands in front of him he knows. He knows he has to let her go. Tell her to get away from him. He has to protect her from what he has become. He looks her in the eye and he sees the pain.

And the earth could have shifted. Gravity could have changed. They could have become one.

He could have imprinted. But he didn't. He didn't and it never mattered. It never mattered because there was no way he could love her more than he already did. There was no way he could see her clearer than he already saw her. There was no way he could love anyone else like he loved her. And he still had to let her go. He heard her say something about hurting him and time. She blamed herself. That's perhaps what hit him the hardest. She blamed herself. For things she shouldn't.

He looks her in the eye and sees the pain.

The pain he didn't want to cause. He looks at the tears. And all he wants to do is reach over. Step over the line he drew in the sand. Ignore all of Sam's warnings. Simply hold her in his arms. Until the pain fades away. But he can't. He has to let her go. He doesn't want to. Every fiber of his being is screaming at him to hold her and never let her go. He doesn't. Though it pains him and breaks him in two he tells her to go. To go and never come back. He doesn't even stay to see if she does. He turns around and runs away. He leaves her there standing alone in the rain. He rushes past the rest of the pack.

Not one of them even thinks about stopping him.

* * *

He would protect her.

With everything he had. He would protect her from the pain. The hurt. And if in order to do that he had to walk away he would do it. If he had to let her go he would do it. She was more important. He would protect her. He would protect her. He keeps repeating it in his head. He has to do this. He can't go see her. He's to dangerous. It's to dangerous. He hears Sam's reassuring voice in his head. Telling him that perhaps in the future he can. When he can control himself.

He'll protect her. He won't go search for her.

His resolve lasts for about two days. It might have lasted longer if he hadn't seen her. Standing there in front of that vampire. About to die. If he hasn't seen the pain in her eyes. All he wanted to do is reach her. Hug her. Hold her. He doesn't know how he managed to do it without Sam knowing. Or maybe Sam knew all along and simply let him. He doesn't know. He lasts only till that moment.

That night he goes to see her. He asks her to remember. He hopes she will.

He held her as tight as he could.

* * *

' _Don't go… please stay…for Charlie…or for me.'_

He begged.

He almost got down on his knees. He didn't do that but he still begged. He begged. And she looked him in the eye and said '_Goodbye Jake.' _

He begged. She still left.

He whishes he hadn't begged. He whishes he'd just let her go. Than he could pretend she might have stayed. But he didn't. He begged. And she still left. She didn't even consider it.

He almost kissed her.

He should have kissed her. He should have ignored the phone. She would have kissed him to. He knows she would have. He closes his eyes. Or maybe she wouldn't have. She could have kissed him in the truck as well. She didn't want to. He runs home. The pack hears his thoughts. And though none of them know what the volturi is it can't be good. The leech was worried. It can't be good.

But he begged. He had begged. And she hadn't cared. He should have told her he loved her.

And now she was gone.

* * *

He doesn't move.

He sits down on the floor in the kitchen. Resting his head against the wall. Staring at the phone. As if it will ring by pure will power. As if it will tell him she's alright. He never moves. He doesn't sleep. Or if he does he doesn't notice. He doesn't eat. He's worried. He tries to breath. He really does. But he begged and she left. And now she might be dead. And all he can do is stare at the phone.

He's not the only one.

The entire pack is worried. They all liked Bella. And now she might be dead. Dead and with now way of knowing what had happened. They would probably never know. He buries his head in his hands. And tries to tell himself to breath. Breath. Breath. It doesn't work.

All he sees is Bella. Bella always.

* * *

_Jake has a clear image of the first time he saw Bella. He'll never forget that. _

_He also has a clear image of the last time he saw Bella. He wishes he could forget that. _

* * *

It's been three days.

No it's not true. It's been two days. 23 hours. 56 minutes. And 14…no 15 seconds. But it doesn't matter. It's been to long. To long. They would have heard something by now. Should have heard something by now. Doesn't she know they are worried? Doesn't she care at all? Are they back together? Are they happy now?

Maybe she never cared at all.

Two days. 23 hours. 57 minutes. And all he can do is stare at the phone. Stare and wish he hadn't let her go. That he'd grabbed her. That he'd fell down on his knees. Anything at all. He prays. He wishes. He wishes that she's alive. He doesn't care about anything else at that moment. She just has to live.

Two days. 23 hours. 58 minutes.

And he hears the most wonderful sound ever.

* * *

It's the roaring of a loud engine.

It's Bella. First he thinks he might have imagined it. But Billy heard it to. He's outside before Billy can even move. And there she is. His heart stops. Tears escape from his eyes. And he's shaking. But it has nothing to do with anger. It's what remains of the fear. He looks at her. As she gets out of the car and stops there. Looking at him.

She just stands there. Looking at him.

Her hair is a mess. She's still wearing the same clothes she left in. she looks tired. Like she hasn't slept in days. Her eyes are red from all the crying. She's shaking. He doesn't know if it's fear or cold and it doesn't matter. She looks horrible. She smells of leech. And he swears it's the most beautiful sight he's ever seen. She's alive. She's alive and she's here and it's all that matters.

He rushes to her and grabs her and holds her tight.

And he promises himself he'll never let her go again.

* * *

She hangs onto him.

She holds him so tight. It's almost as if her life depends on it. He holds her and kisses her hair and laughs. She's alive. He thanks all the Quileute gods he knows. Hell he thanks the Greek gods and the roman Gods and the Egyptian as well. He thanks every god he's ever heard of. He thanks them from the bottom of his heart.

For keeping her safe. For returning her to him.

And she cries. Cries and holds him. And she says _'I'm sorry.' _And _'I'm stupid.'_. He hears _'I should have listened.' _And _'I'm really dumb sometimes.'_ And she whispers _'I'm scared.' _And something about Italy. And vampires. And coming for her. And all he thinks is she's here. And she's with him. And she whispers a dozen different things. And none of them really matter. Because at some point she whispers _'I love you.' _And he believes her.

He almost breaks out in a song. That's how happy he is.

* * *

She looks him in the eyes.

She said I love you. And I'm sorry. And a dozen other things. And only one of them really mattered. And he kisses her. He doesn't care if she'll push him away. He just does it. And he kisses her and then she kisses him back. And he doesn't care that she left him. He doesn't care where she went or what happened. He doesn't care she went to save him.

All that matters is that he's kissing her. And she's kissing him back.

He doesn't care what comes in the future. He doesn't hear Jared and Paul wolf whistle. He doesn't hear nor see Embry throw his hands up in the air and scream 'Finally.' He doesn't see the smile on his father's face. He doesn't see the knowing look in Sam's eyes. He only sees her. He only sees and feels her. And who cares that she loved the leech at some point. All that matters is that she's here with him.

She pulls away. And their eyes lock. And she sais I'm sorry.

And he sais come inside.

* * *

_Jake has a clear image of the first time he saw Bella. He'll never forget that. _

_He also has a clear image of the last time he saw Bella. He wishes he could forget that. _

_But the clearest image he has of her is of that night. Her hair looks horrible. Her eyes are red from all the crying. She's shaking and she's scared and she whispers 'I'm sorry' and 'I'm dumb' and 'I'm scared'. But all that matters is that she's there. There with him. And he'll never let her go again. _

* * *

The pack is happy she's back.

They all want to know what happened to her. But she looks so vulnerable and torn and scared that hey let it go. For now. They let it go. Emily arrives takes one look at her and tells her to take a shower. Immediately. And he won't let her go. He's scared it's all just a dream. But he does. And all the fear he's been feeling comes out. He sinks down on the couch and he cries. And Embry sits down beside him.

None of them laugh. They were all scared.

Bella comes out. She looks more alive. At least she doesn't look like a mess. And he doesn't know what happened. Nor what will happen. He doesn't know what it means. But he takes one look at her and decides it can wait. She's practically falling down from exhaustion. She sits down beside him and curls up by his side. And he holds her tight to him.

He'll never let her go again. None of them will.


End file.
